Fog Brain

shutterstock_1213716793So, here we are, at the end of May, and I’m feeling alternately super-productive and completely useless.  The past week or so (I honestly can hardly even tell,) I’ve been lucky to hit even my smallest minimum daily word count goal.  I usually aim for at least a thousand words a day, which for me is the low end of achievable.  It assumes I can get some peace and quiet and more than 2 minutes to string together without being pestered.

But my absolute rock-bottom minimum is 500 words., because that’s enough for me to get a whole thought down, story-wise, and it feels like I’m making more progress than pecking at a project word-by-word.  (Also, in the interests of complete honesty, 4thewords has a minimum of just over 400 words to count as a day in my writing streak, so…  What?  I’ve got quests to clear out of my log!)

But lately…  I’m skipping days.  I’m opening up my files to do my edits and… then I’m sitting on the sofa and opening my book of the day, reading the same sentence over and over and yelling at my kid for making too damn much noise.  I can’t keep my focus, and going back over things I’ve already written?  Forget it.  I get five words in and my brain checks out.  It’s infuriating.  In part because I want to work– it makes me feel like a contributing member of society.  And partly because if I could just get through these damned chapters, I could get this book out and published!

It’s not even the writing part that’s suffering.  I am my own marketing team and business admin, and I have pretty much ignored both of those parts of being an indie author for the last two weeks, and it’s kind of showing.  I have got to sit my butt down and do some boring business shit or I’m going to be in a world of pain come next year at tax time. Even thoughts of the IRS on the warpath aren’t enough to get me moving, though.

So, when I woke up this morning, I was shocked to feel like I could sit down and get some things done!  I worked through my Duolingo like a good girl, I made some coffee, I posted to Instagram, I updated some of my spreadsheets… and I hit my 1K word count easily.

I’m not counting on this trend continuing, but maybe I can get almost caught up today?  We’ll see.  My son just woke up, so I’m not holding my breath.

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